The College Experience

**You are more beautiful than a rose, but just as a flower blooms, so shall you.**
(Written on my daughter’s first day of school)

My little one is off to college…or so it seems.

Making new friends and exploring new environments, not a single glance back as she runs off into her new world.

The thought that it’s just the first year settles my soul, but not for long.

I’m reminded of how fast the years pass and how quickly our children grow. My eldest, not far from an adult; when, just yesterday, he was 3…or so it seems.

Now she will learn to read and write, and she will grow her own mind. She will, as my others have, need me less each day. There will be times she may even pull away. Through it all, my heart she’ll have.

Friendships made and hardships fought, throughout her life. Hearts once fallen into delight, shall sometimes break. Through it all, I’ll be there.

For, no matter how old my children get, Mamí is the one person they can count on. Count on for support, encouragement, or any other help. Most of all, though, they can count on me to love them and accept them unconditionally and always.

Left alone…or so it seems…hugs and kisses, until you’re in my arms again.

Darkness Calls

This is me, in the dark, while writing this poem. I hope everyone can see the light hidden underneath.

Here I am, again. I feel the pull towards thoughts devoid of pleasure or joy; not even, simply without unpleasantries.

The darkness falls. The light fades. Oh, sadness that be, let me free.

The thought, the thought, and the thought that follows. All thoughts lead to the dark and infinite hallows. I just want to rest.

The darkens falls. The light fades. Oh, sadness that be, let me free.

Strong as a call from the Wild. I feel it, I hear it. The call to an end. The call towards the dim. The call from the shadows.

The darkness falls. The light fades. Oh, sadness that be, let me free.

Think now, think. Plan and do. The darkness begs to be acknowledged. The darkness shall be ignored, no more.

The darkness calls. The light is gone. Oh, sadness that be, you may have me.

Darkness called, and I could not help but answer. That looks like a mighty good way to go. That is a mighty good place to rest.

The darkness called. The light is gone. Oh, sadness that be, you have me.

“That’s a Hell of an adventure, if it doesn’t kill you, or a peaceful way to die,” I think, “and, if you’re lucky, the journey there might show you the Sunrise….to last you to another call.”

Unity

I believe in the power of the mind. I believe in the magic of a soul. I believe in a world of dreams come true and happily ever afters.

The power of belief. The power of the will. The power of the mind. The power of the Universe. Power. Energy. Magic. This is what lets me know.

Will it, and it shall be. Travel to the destination of your imagination. This is what your mind creates. This is when your soul transforms. This is where your will takes you.

Somewhere out there, in a place unseen, is a valley of light. Somewhere out there, in a place we cannot hear, is an echo of laughter. Somewhere out there, just beyond our reach, are those who touch our hearts.

Let everyone know where I have traveled, and know this…those that are left behind, simply have yet to travel here. So, meet me in this land one day. Here, I shall be waiting. In this place, we shall unite again.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear loved one, who believed all this to be true…you have finally made the journey to this paradise. You lived so long in sadness, missing your soul mate. You fought for all your loved ones, and stayed strong until the very end. You were here for us all. Now, I am left with sadness, but also peace of mind. For, I know that you are happy by his side once more.

Yesterday would have been your birthday. Twelve days shy of ninety-nine, you left. But, this does not mark the end. So…Happy birthday, Grandma! Here’s to almost 99 years, and infinity!

The Loss of Self

When you lose someone who makes you lose yourself, it is difficult to find a way back.

You wish you could get them back, but somethings ARE impossible.

One day you realize that, though you may never be the same, you can always get to know the new you.

You simply make a way to yourself that wasn’t there before. Then, you continue to search for more…

More from others and more from yourself.

So, even if you lose yourself, you are never truly lost.

The Recovery

Sorry I have been out for so long. I am recovering well from the surgery, but it has taken longer than expected to fully recovered. At this point, there is some slight discomfort and one incision that is just being stubborn. For the most part, it has scabbed over, but just doesn’t seem to want to stay that way. Nothing of any real concern, though. Just have to continue to alcohol it, in order to keep it from getting infected, there is still a shallow opening…almost like a scratch. I would like to thank all of you whom are back with me today. May our journey continue.

**Enjoy the poem, but be warned…things aren’t always what they seem!**

The path to recovery was long and hard, but here I stand today.

The wounds have left some scars, and the tears and pains were many along the way.

How lonely my journey was, without the light of day, that everything seemed hopeless and far from gay.

I lost my mind and lost my heart, lost even words to say. Yet, somehow I managed to keep my insanity at bay.

Yet, here I am, recovered. The wounds have healed…left scars that will never go away.

And, here I am, to fight the pains of life and enjoy my day to day…and how lucky I am, that I may.

Goodbye?

**At The Hospital**
*I do not know when, or if, I will get to post again. I have always believed in hoping* for the best, but preparing for the worst. At the very least, I may be absent for a while during recovery. If I shall post again one day, I hope you will still be there, ready to continue this journey with me. In the event that this is my last post, I simply wanted to say some final words. This is what I came up with:

If I only have one more day of life, I want everyone I love to know that, wherever I may be, I will always be there.

Please don’t cry for me, for I used my time wisely. I spent all my time and energy giving you all my love and focus. I did what I could to help others. I sacrificed it all, that you would find a moment of happiness.

I will not go far, my body may not be seen, but my spirit and my love will always be by your side. Know that you are great and I am proud.

To those who have followed any of my journeys, thank you for giving me a piece of your time and, thus, a piece of your life.

One never knows what tomorrow will bring, or even the next moment, but if I shall part this Earth, let me have said my final goodbye.

Love, -Rebel

Tell Me How You Smile

As I sit here and think of the many famous people who go through life with such a positive outlook on all things life, I can’t help but wonder…

How?

How do they manage to look at the bright side, have hope, and encourage others to do the same?

How can they face so much criticism and scrutiny, yet live seemingly so happy?

They must have their daily struggles, their life can’t be without challenges…no one’s is.

They feel loneliness, suffer lose, and are hurt by injustice. They may be treated unkindly or face illnesses and deaths.

So, what keeps them smiling? What guides them to share their light? What is the secret to not letting things get you down or hold you there?

Some may say God, but someone close to him can still fall prey to pessimism.

Some may say Hope, but not all who have it are optimistic of what is to come.

Is it then, simply Faith? But, wait! Just because I think it will all be okay, doesn’t mean I won’t suffer through what is yet to be okay.

What says you, my resilient friend? Can it be a predisposed trait based on personality? A gene, perhaps?

I wish to know more. I want to find out. How do you keep your head up, so high, through it all?

Survey, data, research, analyze, and conclude…would I then have the key to succeed against my own doubts, fears, and pains?

Congratulations

As I recently celebrated another year with my significant other, I wrote these thoughts down. Hope some of you can relate. To all of you out there, celebrating an Anniversary…Congratulations!

It’s been a long road to where we stand, from the path we chose so long ago. Though times are tough and it has been rough, here we are again.

From bad, to worse, and now the worst, we always find the good.

When I think about our struggles and what we still have ahead, it seems impossible that our journey is still united. And, even when things seem hopeless, I put my faith in us.

Together we have done so much; together we have come so far. Together we have conquered all that we know how. And, even though we’ve come to a fork in the road, in which we know not the path to take, I really think we’ll be all right…with an accompanied step in the same direction.

Here’s to the love we share. May we continue to succeed together, or may we find happiness apart. No matter what…we have made it this far.

Happy Anniversary!